BLOG.THE5NEEDS.COM

Organization for Autism Research: Living The 5 Needs

2011-11-06T02:19:03Z

Would you like to read about some incredible people?

Talk about people meeting all the 5 Needs in Life…sometimes in unique ways, sometimes while beating all the odds....read about the people with autism, including my son! Part of his story is in the OAR e-newsletter, see “special Feature.” He is a gift indeed!
http://www.researchautism.org

go to resources, then enewsletter and Sept 2011 and then Speical Feautre to read Tim's story...and know there is so much more! What is your story? How do you and your family meet The 5 Needs?

For help, encouragment and information with anything to do with autism, go to this site:

Piedmont Family Magazine and The 5 Needs

2011-11-06T01:58:11Z

Piedmont Family Magazine published an article on The 5 Needs, see the magazine and the article is on page 16. These people do excellent work, support them in anyways you can.

Enjoy! Google : Piedmont Family Magazine

http://caopublications.org/index.asp

The 5 Needs and The Buck Stops Here

2011-11-06T01:49:57Z

We all get opportunities to practice living out The Buck Stops Here and often it is in the little things. The small things we do, say and don’t do and say make a difference. Think about how often we get the chance to take a stand, to say yes or no in a time and place that makes a difference for others. Think of the times we get to accept responsibility for our thoughts and actions.

For some inspiration, read Andy Andrews books about The Seven Decisions: Mastering the Seven Decisions is a wonderful exercise and The Traveler’s Gifts will inspire you and awaken you. Enjoy both and let me know what you learn and how you change. As we get a grip on accepting responsibility in our lives we can see The 5 needs so much better and learn to meet these needs in better way, purposefully too. Think about how YOU meet each of the 5 needs and what you do on purpose to meet each one in your life. Let me know what you discover.

The Buck Stops Here is all about taking responsibility for what we do, and what we believe. Many folks like to pass the buck, not hold on, not accept responsibility. That may be easier at times but in the end can be hollow too. We have all known leaders in every field, every walk of life who take responsibility for their own life and for their work and those who do not. Who do you want to be? What do you want your legacy to be? How do you want to be known?

Thanks!! Hope you are enjoying life.

The 5 Needs and The Travelers’ Gifts

2011-10-29T20:24:19Z

Have you heard of Andy Andrews? I have enjoyed each of his books that I have read. Andy Andrew’s work is useful, educational and entertaining. I thoroughly enjoyed The Traveler’s Gift and am now working through Mastering The 7 Decisions. I found the history in the book educational as my history background is weak. The ways Andy weaves truth for today with life lessons from people who have “been there, done that” and makes it all practical and useful for NOW is remarkable. I high recommend The Traveler’s Gift and am using it in my own work with people and writings. Join the journey, read the Traveler’s Gift and write how it helps you too. It is easy to connect our basic needs and how the folks in the story meet each of the needs too. Since The 5 Needs are such an important part of my life and work, I tend to see how others have met their needs and in Andy’s work it is clear. I appreciate all Andy is doing.

"The Buck Stops Here" (Harry Truman)

2011-10-24T22:44:33Z

"The Buck Stops Here" and The 5 Needs in Life

When it comes to The 5 Needs, like most things in life, we can take responsibility or not…I have been learning from Andy Andrews lately, reading several of his books, hearing some on CD, and never being disappointed. I so enjoy Andy’s style; if you have not heard of him, look him up; his work is fun, interesting and teaches a great deal. Lately I am working through The Traveler’s Gifts and Mastering The 7 Decisions. The first decision is The Buck Stops Here…Here is an explanation of the saying: The Buck Stops Here…

The saying "the buck stops here" derives from the slang expression "pass the buck" which means passing the responsibility on to someone else. The latter expression is said to have originated with the game of poker, in which a marker or counter, frequently in frontier days a knife with a buckhorn handle, was used to indicate the person whose turn it was to deal. If the player did not wish to deal he could pass the responsibility by passing the "buck," as the counter came to be called, to the next player.*

On more than one occasion President Truman referred to the desk sign in public statements. For example, in an address at the National War College on December 19, 1952 Mr. Truman said, "You know, it's easy for the Monday morning quarterback to say what the coach should have done, after the game is over. But when the decision is up before you -- and on my desk I have a motto which says The Buck Stops Here' -- the decision has to be made." In his farewell address to the American people given in January 1953, President Truman referred to this concept very specifically in asserting that, "The President--whoever he is--has to decide. He can't pass the buck to anybody. No one else can do the deciding for him. That's his job. (http://www.trumanlibrary.org/buckstop.htm).

Something to think about…can you apply The Buck Stops Here to your life and how you meet The 5 needs in Life?? I can J.

What a beautiful day!

2011-10-22T22:10:28Z

This has been a lively week. My knee is healing from the fall, my heart has been grateful for the beauty all around, the seasons here are marvelous! Changing colors and leaves falling, crispy weather, all seems perfect. Staying Alive is easy in weather like this, at least for some of us.

Today, I had the pleasure of lunch out with a friend, meeting the need for love and belonging in a healthy way. We ate well and used the freedom of choice with boundaries and ate well. We made a good choice (power) and went for a walk (fun) and presto a day full of all of The 5 needs met! I love looking at life with The 5 needs in mind…it is easy and sweet. How did you do today in meeting your needs? Need to make any adjustments? Want to make any changes; it is nice that we can, anytime.

Is it pretty where you live? Do you have leaves changing too? What do you like the best about fall? Is it the apples? The pumpkin pie? The sweater weather? Cuddling up? What makes you smile in the fall?
Feel free to share your thoughts...it matters!

Staying Alive Can Be Tricky

2011-10-09T13:41:57Z

Sunday Morning, October 9, 2011 Staying Alive Can Be Tricky

What a beautiful day today is; the sun is bright, the air is crisp, time for a morning walk before activities begin. As I begin walking the music from the i-pod makes it easy to have a pep in my step….going along enjoying every bit of it and suddenly I trip! Down on my knee a word popped out of my mouth I won’t write here (you can imagine) and my foot said OUCH too. I looked at my knee, brush burn, blood but not much, and asked myself, “Are you ok?” M foot was a bit sore, but I felt I could carry on and I did…got up and kept on walking, enjoying the sunshine, crisp air, music and delightful thoughts. I stopped and checked on my knee and paid attention to my foot, both were managing fine. Now at home, my knee burns more but a nice cleaning and bandage and it will be all better soon. My foot is doing well too.

You know stuff happens!

We never know what a day can bring. A couple days ago my son had a brush with danger, he was crossing a street in the crosswalk and a man turned and hit him, thumped him with an SUV. Thankfully, my son was ok, shock up pretty bad, but not hurt. The man was making a turn and did not even stop. Others saw it and yelled at the man, still he kept going. Thankfully, my son is fine. The next day we rested a lot! We were both emotionally spent from the experience, but also deeply grateful my boy was safe, it could have been far worse.

We never know what a day will bring.

What will you do today to stay alive, as you can see, it can be tricky! Still we can eat well, attempt to workout, have friends to share life with and do the best we can. We are responsible for our life. All things are not under our control, but many are and we want to do what we can with what we have, so take a look, think and purposefully take care of YOU today and those you love too.

Feel free to share your storyJ It matters!

Fall has arrived: How are YOU going to meet your 5 needs this season?

2011-10-09T01:31:47Z

Hey there,

Welcome to one of the prettiest times of the year here (in Virginia). Fall is a treat to us; although we love New Orleans and all it has to offer, seasons are different here. Each fall since our move in 2001 we delight in the colors and the feel of the air. I feel energized in the fall and it is time to get back to blogging!

Thank you all for the comments, I enjoy reading each one. Let’s keep the conversation rolling about our 5 basic needs and how we each meet them. We are all different yet we have the needs in common; however the ways we chose to meet them will differ with space, time, financial resources, desires, situations and circumstances.

A quick review of the needs will help us begin again here:

Staying Alive: the basics like food, shelter, water, and clothing; also the emotional and spiritual needs we all share are included in staying alive.
Love and Belonging: we all know we need to be loved and feel we belong and yet we do not always put forth the effort to meet this needs. We don’t’ want to take this for granted; have fun learning to meet this need.
Freedom and Boundaries: we can look at many areas of our life with this one, eating, finances, time, and resources: how do we enjoy the freedoms we have and what boundaries do we set for our self and where do we need to improve. Also, the variety of freedoms we have as Americans and our responsibilities to keep these (even the responsibility to vote).
Power: what we think power us or di-empowers us. What we think can make or break us in many ways. We need to learn to identify what we think so we can use our thoughts to empower our lives. Our choices demonstrate the power we have every day.
Fun: taking time for fun, even just doing nothing for fun is good. Making time for fun, seeking ways to have fun, being creative and willing to try new things along with creating friendships will help you meet this need.

Fall is a beautiful time to try a new way to meet the needs or to just let yourself keep on meeting the needs in the ways you are currently doing if you are living in ways that make you feel you are living a balanced, fulfilling life. Either way, the choice is yours…enjoy life. Thanks for reading and writing your thoughts and opinions!

Freedom and Boundaries

2011-05-30T22:15:00Z

As we remember all those who have given so much for our freedom we can sit in awe, kneel in prayer, rise up and sing “America” and look at our own life with a heart of gratitude.

Do you know any Veterans? If so, thank them (and their families). Write them a note or send them a card and thank them. The price they (and their families) paid is precious; some have paid with their life, others with time and some are still paying in various ways.

Freedom is not something we want to take for granted.

We often go about life with no thought of the blessings and privileges in our personal life. Some people have lost some of their freedom by various addictions, illness or negative relationships. Some of our choices have long lasting impact and some things happen to us that are not of our making, things that are out of our control.

Sometimes we need to find a helping hand. If you need a hand, reach out and get one. Please don’t try to go it all alone.

We have the privilege to set many of our boundaries and often do not even think about what we are doing (or not doing) about the freedom and boundaries in our life. Have you ever suffered with an addiction, a pattern of disordered eating or an eating disorder? Do you have to watch closely what you do with your time so that you do not engage in pornography or gambling?

Can you set boundaries on what you do, what you eat, what you see, and how you spend your money or do you need help? There is nothing wrong with getting help; there is sadness and loss when you get help and do not use it, but instead stick with the old ways of being, using excuses instead of engaging in new behaviors. Change is possible but takes work.

Is your life working for you? Are you working with life or against it? Are you able and willing to take responsibility for yourself, your choices and your everyday choices? Do you have friends that you enjoy being with and that you can be open and honest with too?

Relationships can make us or break us.

We need others in our life; we are not islands and not meant to live alone. However, this does not mean we all need to be married; we can have others in our life without being married. Marriage is a choice in our society and a good one for many folks; having a life-long companion can be a gift indeed. Someone to be there all the time, to share the journey of life with and to help too can indeed be a gift.

Even if we have this person we are still responsible for our self, our choices and our life. Perhaps now is good time for you to consider where you are with freedom and boundaries in your personal life. A little inventory is good.

Take some time, enjoy looking around at your world and see what you want to change if anything.

You can do it and if you need help you can find it...go for it! This is your life

Being and becoming, Wendy

Enjoying Spring...

2011-05-10T13:53:00Z

Spring is Here…

A beautiful time of year indeed, but many deal with allergies too. Balance is the key, indoors, outdoors, medications when needed and time to have fun, enjoy the sun, play and know the beauty we see is magical in some ways.

An excellent time of year to look inside and out: How are you doing with your life?

How are you feeling inside about your choices, your direction and the goals you have or need to set?

How are you doing with Need 1: “Staying Alive”? Many being to work out, prepare for races and enjoy the outdoors (which can lift moods too) this time of year. Many begin a “healthy eating plan” that may have slipped in the colder winter months or the darker days of winter. Be careful t tune up your food intake and take care of your body, staying alive also means living fully and to do that we must be responsible for many little choices, use some self discipline and enjoy what we have too. How are you meeting the need to stay alive this month?

Love in often found in the air during spring time, or so some believe. How are you meeting the need for love and belonging? Do you want to take extra time with girl friends, guy friends, significant others or your children or partner? What can you do to enjoy the relationships you currently have in your life and what other relationships do you want to develop? Have you ever read any of Gary Chapman’s Love languages series, I recommend them highly. Need 2: “Love and Belonging” deserves a close look, take some time to explore what you are doing to meet this need in healthy and fun ways.

In the next post we will explore Freedom and Boundaries, Fun and power. For now, take a look at these two needs and if you want to share some of your experiences and thoughts, feel free to let me know how you are doing.

Enjoy being and becoming,

Wendy

The Moon!

2011-03-20T10:34:45Z

Did you see the moon last night?

The brightness, the wonder, the beauty! We went out to take some pictures and called my brother to make sure he was going to get some too. What can you say...if you saw it, you understand what the big deal is now. If you missed it, pictures are already popping up online. The moon was closer to us than it has been for many years and that meant we could see it better and stand in awe!

Gets us back to the need of “Staying Alive” and knowing it is the foundational need we all share in life. Nature is so good to us, most of the time. There are natural disasters, and when these occur, we wonder what happened? We ask: How can we help? As we seek ways to do what we can, with what we have, we are humbled with all we do have in our life. We see that Staying Alive is not so easy for any of us; that our life can change in an instant.

If your health is good, be grateful. If you have friends that you can trust, have fun with and just enjoy time together, be grateful. If you have all the "stuff" you need in your life, see what you can share....and be grateful. If you can make time to be with you, to hear your heart, know your self and find out where you best fit in this world, be grateful. If you have a job you like, a place to share your gifts and talents be grateful.

As Spring comes, enjoy time alone, enjoy time with others, enjoy the beauty of nature and think of those who are living through disasters. See what you can do to help. Pray. Find ways to hear what others are saying. Keep your self in a good place emotionally, spiritually and physically. We can all improve here and there, so do what you can, while you can. We never know what tomorrow will bring our way.

This day, be grateful. Seeing the moon can remind us of our significance and how little we are too. Seeing the moon shine and beam can bring awe to our hearts and souls, wonder to our thoughts, and peace to our souls. We can be still and know we are not in charge. What a relief!

Being and Becoming.

March is here and spring is coming:)

2011-03-10T13:00:00Z

Happy March...ahhhh....we have to take a deep breathe in and smile...if the weather is raining or sunny, cold or warm, we have to ask....is winter leaving us soon for real?

Winter is beautiful, with the snow covered hills, hot chocolate, warm cookies,and the sight of dancing snow flakes that can bring peace as well as excitement and fun outdoors(for some of us even days out of school) yet many of us are eagerly waiting for spring to show up now with the joy and energy it brings. The flowers, the opportunities to get out in the garden, opportunities to get workouts done outdoors and jsut enjoy some sunshine...March is such a good month!

March is an ideal time to look at our hearts, to see how we are doing in our life, to accept our self with love and to prepare for changes if needed too. March is a good time to enjoy being who we are and how we are while seeing how we can improve and move towards our goals and desires. One way to do this is to explore The 5 Needs we have and see just how we are doing in meeting these needs.

Have you heard the new song "Less Than Perfect" by "Pink" and seen the video? Amazing! Full of The 5 Needs...talks about never feeling less than perfect...incredible song! Touches on all the needs: Freedom and Boudaries, Love and Belonging, Fun, and Staying Alive. U Tube has many versions of it, check it out.

The 5 Needs are seen all around us in songs and movies, see where you can find one of more of the needs today in public media.

Happy March again Hope you enjoy it in everyway possible.
Being and Becoming, Wendy

A New Year: A time to explore Freedom and Bouondaries

2011-01-02T13:30:00Z

A New Year!

2010 is gone and 2011 is just starting, what will we do? What will se do with our time, energy, strength and how will we feel at the end of this year?

I love the idea of beginning with the end in mind while living in the present moment.

There may be some “clean up” to do in our lives as we begin again, but we can. There may be some planning to do in order to become who we want to be while being who we are too…again, we are able…we have more power than we realize.

Let’s start the year with freedom and boundaries in mind. We do this quiet naturally actually. We are so fortunate to have so many freedoms and we are able to set boundaries for our self, get the help of others or if we just wait and do nothing, often boundaries will be set for us.

Look at each area of life and think about how YOU want it to be. A few examples are:

Spiritually: What disciplines do you desire to develop; prayer time, journaling, quiet time, time in nature to just be, walk or reflect? Do you need a community to share your ideas about God with and to join in worship with at times? What will you do for you?

Emotionally: do you need to ro-do your moods at times? How do you want to do that? Cognitive work, behavioral work, medical interventions, attitude adjustments, what do YOU need to consider?

Physically: How are you doing with the freedom and boundaries to eat what you want when you want? Do you need to make some adjustments in your intake and activities? You can! We live in a “land of plenty” and we can use a multitude of ways to be as healthy as we can be, develop our strength and learn to listen to our body. Today is a good day to start.

Financially: What are your goals? How much can you save weekly, even $1.00 matters; there are many ways to save and some banks offer easy ways to do it too, check it out. Take a look at the 21 day financial fast (Google it) and try it out. We all can be happy with what we have and use it wisely or we can blow it and regret it…and there is a lot in-between too. Take a look at where you are and where you want to get, set some realistic goals and get advice if needed.

There are so many ways to look at freedom and boundaries, let’s use this time to explore what we have good, what we are grateful for and build on the good. Let’s let freedom and boundaries work with us and for us this year in every area of our lives.

Wishing the best to each of us…enjoy, be in health and use wisdom, share joy and be in peace J

Love and Belonging…Keeps us going :)

2010-12-31T14:23:00Z

What we need now is...love...remember the sone?

What keeps the world going round and round “…it’s love, sweet love..” so the song says…and it is true…Love helps a bunch! We all need to love, be loved and have a sense of belonging…love and belonging start in our families.

Our Christmas was filled with love this year because of time with familyJ Some locally and some long distance, but the warmth and feelings of knowing we are loved, and love, fills our heart no matter how many miles we are apart….and it did for us this year and are extremely grateful, we do not take this for granted at all. Spending time with those we love means so much to us and when we get to have them close enough to hug, all the better J . We hope you are having a lovely holiday too.

The season is not yet over, but we are coming to the close of another year. As the year comes to a close we take time to reflect, to regroup, to plan ahead and to ponder…what matters the most in life anyway? We never know what the future holds, let alone this afternoon. We can get stuck in rut, have a cloud of depression come visit us, we can get spoiled, we can take for granted many things in this life that can all change faster than we ever imagined. A call back from a doctor with news on a simple blood test can reveal a health problem that can change our current way of life, an act of nature, an accident, news from a loved one about a health situation in their life, or any number of things can happen to us.

We need relationships at those times and to have to build them in a time of crisis is not so easy, sure it can happen and does, but how much better to already have some friends and family to lean on and to support in good times and tough times.

The saying goes: “We never know what we have till it gone.” Let’s NOT let that be our song…let’s love, be loved and enjoy it all along our journey of life. We need one another, be blessed and be a blessing this day, this week, this year….start now, this hour J

Enjoy being and becoming….Happy days are ahead J

The count down is here: Christmas is coming

2010-12-20T11:08:00Z

Christmas is coming soon…and that means the topic of Love and Belonging comes up, like it or not.

This can be a tough one for many people. This time of year is the best for others.

The holidays are a good season for those of us that have love in their life and feel a sense of belonging.

For those of us who do not feel a sense of belonging and feel they have failed at love, or feel unloved or unlovable, this time of the year is extra hard.

Some have love but can not feel it; some want love and can not find it; some have love and don’t know it.

Some have places they know they belong, are wanted and are cherished, others do not.

Some of the missing love and belonging is only imagined but seems real, and so is real.

We have to learn to love our self first and that can take a life time! We need to forgive our self, get up and go again and this can be tough.

We need to look for the good in us, see our intentions, even when we mess up. Often we are far too hard on our self.

We need to realize if we have one or two good people in our life that we call friend, we are blessed, even if these folks are family, we are blessed and fortunate to someone, even one, that knows us and loves us just as we are and we do the same for them.

Life is a time to learn and grow, to be and become. Hope your holiday season is good and you feel loved and a sense of belonging. If not, I hope you can and will soon.

Love and belonging are so vital for each of us. May we all find it more and more in the coming year and enjoy others. Maybe we be pleasant and enjoyable too

Love and Belonging

2010-12-10T00:16:00Z

The 5 Needs in Life

Love and Belonging

The holiday season is good time to talk about Love and Belonging; these needs are part of the five basic needs we all share in life. Our attitudes and behaviors are often a reflection of how we do or do not meet our basic needs. Some people do not feel their need for love and belonging is met at all: they long to be loved, to belong, to feel and know they matter to someone, somewhere. Others are genuinely aware that they are unconditionally loved, and easily experience a sense of community. Still others have lost a loved one and this time of year can be very difficult.

All of us need and want to feel loved and desire a sense of belonging; we will often try different ways to get these needs met. Sometimes we use healthy ways and sometimes we do not; such is being human. God, in His ongoing grace and unconditional love helps us in ways He knows we can understand and accept. Sometimes He will help us see we already have what we seek and need, and He will help us embrace what is ours. Other times, He will help us find ways to meet these needs and discover love and a sense of belonging with others.

The need to love includes giving and receiving love. Love is a gift, it is good, love is pure, holy, and respects the giver and receiver. Love is kind, gracious and precious. Love can help us remain healthy or sometimes regain our health. Love can come to us easily at times and at times, we have to put forth some effort. Love can take work, self discovery and self discipline too.

The need to belong is also a need that makes our life better and can help us be healthy. Belonging does not just happen for everyone. Some are born into families unable to provide a sense of belonging; however the need to belong is still there. Belonging takes time, effort, curiosity, consistency, self discipline, and at times we need a hand to experience a sense of belonging. We can reach out to others, but at times we need to be reached out too, and when those hands come our way, we need to let them help us. This can be hard for some people.

We are all responsible for meeting our own needs, but often we need some help. Helping others can take a little creativity and even courage. This holiday season; let us be His eye, ears, and hands a little bit more than we usually are in our daily life. Let’s look for ways to let His love flow through us maybe we can begin to help someone feel they belong by talking with them, inviting them over, then maybe in the New Year we can develop a new friendship.

I hope you have a blessed holiday season; love and let your self be loved; enjoy a sense of belonging and try to help others find a way to belong too.

What do you think? What has been your experiences?

Welcome

2010-12-07T02:31:00Z

Welcome to Our Blog.

We will talk about each of The 5 Needs in life that we all share. Each month we will have a theme and will focus on specific need, however you can write anything about any of the needs if you wish to do so. We care about what you think and experience, so join us often.

This is for fun and education.

This is NOT a therapeutic service. This is Not meant to replace other services a person may need such as counseling or medication. If you need these services I will be happy to send you referrals if you request them.

For now, let’s learn how we each meet the different 5 needs in life.

Let’s share what we feel God says about the needs too. Let’s enjoy our journey and share what we know, respect what others say and remember the golden rule: Do unto others as you want them to do unto you. We will not put anyone down here.

If we disagree (which we will) we can do so in love and with grace. Let’s keep it simple, pure and enjoyable. Thanks for joining in. Your thoughts matter here.

Enjoy the journey, remember we are becoming who we will be, be proud of who you are and will be too,

Wendy